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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25499542">Let Me Be a Part of Your Universe (Oneshot)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/GravityUniverse115/pseuds/GravityUniverse115'>GravityUniverse115</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>SU has destroyed my life for the better [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Steven Universe (Cartoon)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Beach House, Being Lost, Corrupted Steven Universe, Depressing, Depression, Do-Over, Domestic Fluff, Don't Judge Me, Emo, Emotional, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Roller Coaster, Emotional pain, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Emotions, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/F, F/M, Family Fluff, Fandom Trumps Hate probably, Fear, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Forgiveness, Friends to Lovers, Fucked Up, Gem/Human Relationships (Steven Universe), Girl Saves Boy, Gorgeous, Guilty Pleasures, Half-Human, Headaches &amp; Migraines, Holding Hands, Home, Hope, Hope vs. Despair, Hopeful Ending, Human, I Don't Even Know, I Tried, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Bad At Titles, Late Night Conversations, Late at Night, Loss, Loss of Control, Loss of Faith, Loss of Identity, Loss of Innocence, Loss of Trust, Made For Each Other, Meant To Be, Men Crying, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Illness, Mental Instability, Moral Dilemmas, Morbid, Mother Complex, Mother-Son Relationship, Near Death Experiences, Nearly Human, No Sex, No Smut, Nobody is Dead, OTP Feels, One Shot, Oneshot, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, PTSD Pearl, Pain, Pearl Solidarity (Steven Universe), Pearl/Steven bonding, Pillow Talk, Please Don't Hate Me, Post-Episode: s06e19 I Am My Monster, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Quirks, Rating: PG13, Ratings: G, Romantic Fluff, Sad Pearl (Steven Universe), Saving the World, Separation Anxiety, Sharing a Bed, Sleep Deprivation, Sorry Not Sorry, Steven Universe Future, Suffering, Talk About It, Talking, The Author Regrets Nothing, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Vulnerability, Vulnerable Steven Universe, What Have I Done, Worth Re-Reading, Wow, let Steven Universe say Fuck, we need to talk, ye</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 04:14:39</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,770</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25499542</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/GravityUniverse115/pseuds/GravityUniverse115</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Set after the events of I Am My Monster</p><p>Steven just went through the worst day of his life. He admitted every mistake he's ever done and turned into a literal monster. After getting comfort from the gems, Connie, Greg, and Lion it was time to work on building him back up. One piece at a time</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Connie Maheswaran &amp; Steven Universe, Connie Maheswaran/Steven Universe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>SU has destroyed my life for the better [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2009767</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>55</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Let Me Be a Part of Your Universe (Oneshot)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Everyone sat patiently in the palm of the Cluster, waiting for Steven to settle down. He kept a tight grip on Lion like his life depended on it. Which to him, it might've felt that way. Steven buried his face in Lion's mane as he bawled his eyes out. The feline has always brought him comfort despite Lion being stubborn from time to time. But he still loved Steven. And Steven loved him. A few quiet whimpers can be heard between cries. They were there for an hour before he finally calmed down. Softening to small cries and more whimpering. He didn't ever want to let go of Lion. It was the only thing that kept him grounded and made him feel safe. Nothing else mattered</p><p>Greg was the first to reach out. He placed a gentle hand on Steven's back. Steven trembled under his touch. Greg spoke in a calming voice. "Hey buddy, you're gonna be okay." Steven looked up at his father with tired eyes. His bottom lip started quivering. Connie then approached with a small smile. "We're here Steven. Let's go back inside." Still clinging to Lion, Steven sniffed and nodded </p><p>Connie offered to be on the front of Lion. Begrudgingly, Steven had to release his firm grip on the cat. He tried climbing on but his legs were still weak from the corruption. So Greg walked over and helped push him up. Steven sat with his legs hanging off the side and leaned against Connie for stability. Before they made their way to the now broken beach house, the Diamonds approached to say goodbye. White Diamond spoke up first. She was being careful not to get too close. "Steven, I just wanted to say...I'm sorry for what I did to you. I know you don't forgive me and that's okay. You don't have to. I wanted to tell you that I feel so guilty for what happened. Take care of yourself Steven. We'll take care of everything on Homeworld." Steven wanted to protest but he didn't have the energy for it. So he gave them a half smile and nodded</p><p>Spinel then came down, once again not getting too close. She shyly rubbed the back of her head. "Steven? I-well-I um..." She took a deep breath and tried to compose herself. "Look, I understand what you're going through. Not all of it but a decent amount. What I'm trying to say is, if you ever need someone else to talk to just give me a call. I care about you Steven." The boy couldn't help but smile at her. A few more tears escaped from his eyes. "Thank you Spinel." His voice was a bit hoarse from all the crying. Spinel nodded and held up a peace sign before leaving with the Diamonds. They all watched the ship take off then headed towards the house</p><p>Once they were inside, Steven got onto his feet with one hand on Lion to keep his balance. Pearl kept watching him and caught on to his shift in body language. He only stood there, staring at the ground below him. It looked like he wanted to say something but the words wouldn't escape his mouth. Like they were stuck in his throat. Pearl turned towards him and bent down to his level. Her expression filled with concern and confusion. Despite Pearl placing a hand on his shoulder, Steven refused to meet her gaze. Pearl spoke carefully. "Steven, what's wrong? Talk to me."</p><p>Still refusing to look her in the eyes, Steven heaved out a sigh and spoke. "Could I talk to you alone?" Both of them began tearing up. For different reasons. Although Steven wasn't ready for this conversation, he knew he didn't have a choice. It was inevitable after all that has happened. While Pearl's tears were ones of both despair and happiness. This may not be the most ideal situation, but she was just grateful Steven was at last opening up. No matter how small it was. Any progress is better than none at all</p><p>Pearl gave a tearful smile and rubbed Steven's shoulder. She replied, choking on the words a bit. "Of course sweetie." Pearl stood back up and slid her hand down to Steven's back. They walked side by side up to his room. The only room that wasn't destroyed in the incident. They slowly inched their way up the stairs, Steven leaning against Pearl to keep his balance. They sat in silence on the edge of the bed, neither of them knowing what to say</p><p>Pearl finally broke the tension. "What's troubling you?" Careful not to hit a nerve and cause another meltdown </p><p>Steven took a deep breath, trying to keep himself from spiraling. "I'm sorry..." Pearl was shocked to say the least. That was the last thing she expected him to say. Why would he apologize? He had no reason to. Pearl had trouble comprehending this sudden statement</p><p>She sat there with her mouth agape for a few seconds. Figuring out how to respond. She stuttered a bit trying to find the right words. "Wh-Why? Steven...y-you have nothing to be sorry for."</p><p>Before Pearl could continue, Steven cut in. "Yes, I do." His cheeks turned red as more tears started to spill. Barely able to catch his breath. "I should've said something earlier. Then none of this would've happened. I'm such an idiot!" Steven shook and cried into his hands</p><p>Pearl tried so hard not to cry alongside Steven. "Oh..Steven..." The longer this day went on, the more she learned what was really going on with her boy. Her heart ached so much it felt like it would break. A wave of guilt washed over her, sending chills through her body. She felt a strong urge to protect so she grabbed Steven and pulled him into a tight embrace. Pearl pulled him towards her chest, resting her chin on his soft black curls. "You did nothing wrong. It's all our fault." Pearl couldn't hold back anymore and let tears roll down her face. "We dumped our problems onto you and it wasn't fair. It was our baggage, not yours. And-" She was closer to breaking down herself. She bit her bottom lip and took a deep breath. "Steven I'm so so sorry! I'm sorry I made you feel like you couldn't talk to me. I never meant to hurt you." She held him closer and choked back a few sobs. Pearl decided to make them both feel more comfortable and scooted up to the head of the bed, pulling Steven up with her</p><p>Steven sniffed and wiped the tears off his face. "But, what about mom? She-" Pearl stopped him before he went any further </p><p>"This isn't about her. Yes, I still love your mother. I miss her every day. I don't know if that'll ever go away completely. But right now, she doesn't matter to me. You do. If I had to choose between you or her, you'd win every time. I love you so much Steven. I wouldn't trade the time we've spent together for anything." She looked down and tearfully smiled at him. Her eyes now red from sobbing so much</p><p>It took a second for her words to register in Steven's mind. But once they did, he fell into hysterics. Smiling, laughing, and crying all at the same time. He finally returned the hug and leaned further into her. It was such a relief for him to hear her say that. Like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders. It was as if they were the only two people on Earth. No worries. No struggles. No reality</p><p>About half an hour later, things finally settled down. Pearl rested up against the wall. While Steven curled up next to her, now wearing some actual clothes. He put on a simple pair of pajamas and wore his jacket over his top. Steven layed his head on Pearl's stomach and rested his arms on her leg. As time went on, the adrenaline was filtered out of his body. His limbs went limp and his eyelids grew heavy. He tried fighting it but he didn't have much energy left. So before he submitted, he asked Pearl one final question. "Pearl?..." He let out a big yawn. "You'll stay with me, right?"</p><p>Pearl gently rubbed his head. "I'll be right here. You can go ahead and rest Steven. I'm not going anywhere." That was all he needed to let himself relax</p><p>He closed his eyes and let himself drift away. Meanwhile, Pearl still lovingly stroked his hair. Suddenly Bismuth came up to check on them. She walked more quietly once she saw Steven was asleep. "Hey uh, you guys doin okay?"</p><p>"Yeah Bismuth, we're fine. He's just a little tuckered out." Pearl gave her a small smile</p><p>Bismuth blushed in response. "Heh good. I'm gonna work on the house tomorrow."</p><p>"Sounds good. Before you go...c'mere." Pearl smirked and arched an eyebrow. Bismuth smiled big and did as she was told. When she was close enough, Pearl grabbed her chin with her remaining hand and planted a quick kiss on the gem's lips. Both of them blushed and stared into each other's eyes for a moment. Both frozen in place</p><p>Bismuth then stuttered and stumbled backwards. "Ahem, well I should probably get goin."</p><p>Pearl waved goodbye at her. "I'll call you later tonight." Bismuth waved back and made her way out. The two gems have only been together for a few weeks but it was pure and utter bliss. Not long after they had gone to the roller rink, Bismuth told Pearl she liked her. And as it turns out, Pearl liked her back. While during the war, Pearl was interested in Rose and it hurt Bismuth every time she saw it. It wasn't until thousands of years later when Steven unbubbled Bismuth that Pearl realized how much she meant to her. She was oblivious to it at first. Just shrugging it off as emotional from seeing a long lost friend. However now when looking back, she knew she was head-over-heels in love with Bismuth. Now she's the happiest she's ever been</p>
<hr/><p>
  <em>Steven was standing alone on the beach. No one else in sight. Everything was calm. "Guys?!" Steven gradually became confused. Something didn't feel right. As he wandered the beach, static images appeared before him. Memories. Of every mistake he's made. The car crash. "What? No I didn't mean it like that." Wanting to shatter White Diamond. "Stop. I was just mad for what she did!" The proposal. "Stop it!! I didn't want to be alone!" Shattering Jasper. He gripped the sides of his head and shut his eyes tightly. "NOOOO! STOP IT!!!" He was brought down to his knees by a sharp pain in his back. He groaned and gritted his teeth. The pain grew stronger and stronger with each passing second. It was practically unbearable </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Steven put his palms face down on the sand, in a cold sweat. He tried his hardest not to scream out in agony. His arms started trembling underneath him. Steven looked down at his hands and noticed they began to turn pink. His nails turned into claws. "No...not again." He continued pleading under his breath. "<strong>Please</strong>! I can't do this again!" Something was about to erupt from his back. Then everything went black</em>
</p><p>Steven woke up in a cold sweat. Gasping for air and trying to grasp his surroundings. He found the spot next to him was empty. He was about to have a panic attack when he sat up and saw Connie sitting on the floor. She half heartedly waved at him. "Hey. Are you okay?"</p><p>Steven rubbed his head due to receiving a monstrous headache. "Yeah, just had a nightmare. Where's Pearl?"</p><p>"Bismuth needed her help with something. But she didn't want to leave you alone so I volunteered to look after you." Connie blushed a little. A bit embarrassed about the circumstance. She stood up and took Pearl's spot on the bed</p><p>Steven sighed and avoided any eye contact. "H-How long have I been out?"</p><p>"About 3 hours. It's 11pm right now. Your dad went back in the van. It's parked outside the house because he didn't want to be so far away from you. The gems are downstairs and I believe Bismuth and Pearl went to Little Homeworld." She nervously scratched the back of her neck</p><p>Both sat in silence for a moment. Steven still refused to look at her in the eyes. Not after what has transpired the past few weeks. He was afraid he messed up what little chance they had for a relationship. She probably thought he was a bad person anyway. He was a shatterer. Steven has already come to terms with Connie most likely not forgiving him. It hurt but in his mind, it was reality</p><p>Tears welled up in his eyes as he stared down at his feet. Connie finally broke the silence, making Steven flinch. "I'm sorry. I couldn't protect you."</p><p>Steven didn't even know what to say to that. He felt guilty for making her feel like it was her fault. So he tried shrugging it off. "...You should go home. I'm sure your mom is worried about you."</p><p>Connie widened her eyes and tilted her head in confusion. "What? Steven I'm not going anywhere. I already called my mom. She's letting me stay the night."</p><p>"Then just leave." Steven's heart ached at those words</p><p>Connie stood up, standing directly in front of him. "I told you I'm not leaving you! We're best friends. Jam bu-"</p><p>Steven suddenly looked up with a scowl and tears rolling down his cheeks. "I SAID GET OUT!"</p><p>Connie was taken completely by surprise and stumbled back a little. They stared at each other for a moment. Until Connie finally put her foot down. Literally. She frowned at him and was also in tears. "No!! I'm not letting you shut me out again!"</p><p>Steven gripped onto his hair. "Why?! You shouldn't be anywhere near me! I'm a horrible person! I shattered someone! Why do you still hang out with me?!"</p><p>Connie clenched her hands into fists. "Because I love you, you idiot!" Steven immediately loosened his expression. He couldn't believe what he'd heard. Connie confessed. On today of all days</p><p>Steven stammered, trying to figure out how to respond. "W-What?"</p><p>Connie took the moment to catch her breath. Her cheeks turned bright red. "I said....I love you."</p><p>Steven's mind was going in a million different directions. "I-why?..."</p><p>Connie sighed and sat back down next to him. "You probably think you ruined my life. But you didn't. You made it better. When I was around you, you made me feel special. Like I could do anything." She reached for his hand, interlocking fingers. "So you made some mistakes. And yeah they were bad. But that doesn't make you a bad person. You gave everyone a second chance. You need to give yourself one too." She looked up at Steven with a sheepish smile on her face. Her eyes glistening in the moonlight shining through the room</p><p>Steven finally met her gaze. He blushed deeply. All he could think was how beautiful she looked. Steven always thought she was beautiful. They stared at each other, lost in the other's eyes. Their faces slowly grew closer until there was only an inch of space in-between. Almost out of instinct, Steven leaned in for a kiss. He cupped her cheek in his hand and closed his eyes. Connie closed her eyes as well. She placed a hand on Steven's chest</p><p>They held it for 3 seconds before letting go. They put their foreheads together and smiled at one another. "I love you too." Steven whispered. They layed down in the bed, facing each other. Steven's smile disappeared. "I'm scared."</p><p>"We'll get through this Steven. No matter what happens, we'll always be best friends." Steven scooted closer to her for comfort. He held onto her and curled in on himself. Connie held on as well and rested her chin on his head</p><p>Both of their eyelids grew heavy. Connie pushed through so she can be sure Steven was okay. "Connie?" Steven muttered in a barely audible whisper</p><p>"Yeah Steven?" Her eyes still wide open despite her body's protest</p><p>"Thank you...for being my knight.." And on that note, he drifted asleep. Not having enough energy to wait for answer</p><p>Connie smiled wide and pulled him closer to her. She closed her eyes and sighed. "I'd do anything for you."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This was my first time writing legit Connverse. I hope I did it justice. This took me forever to write but I hope it was worth the wait!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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